[ he snorts at nero's reply. he knows he's just trying to be funny to hide his real feelings, but then... he... thinks about it... taking another bite. ]
. . . What if we don't return?
[ not if they can't, but if they simply... don't. ]
. . . We gotta start thinkin' that we might not be able to go back. We don't know what the hell this place really is.
[ he's done with his plate, and is now licking his fingers idly. ]
And y'know, as fucked up as it is leavin' the Sage behind, the Southern brat, and the Central little guy, they don't exactly need us to survive. I miss 'em, but you and I both know they're fine. Also— [ .........well. he already said "also", he can't just back down. he can avert his gaze, though. ] I always knew it didn't matter where I was as long as you were with me. And now I know it's true.
[ he thought about this endlessly in prison, then felt guilty for wanting nero with him. ]
( that brings a little red to his cheeks, even though he doesn't want it to - that's?? how could he?? there's no way that's how it is for brad. nero ain't that great. he doesn't get the attachment. and, look, they sorta talked (and banged) their way through that conversation, but - still.
nero guesses it's half his fault, though. he ... was the one who took away the thing that mattered most to brad - his gang. is it his fault, that he made brad like this? (nero is stupid.) and - could nero really say the same? that all he needs is brad? no way. not possible. but if he sees a life without everything he had before - his team, his friends, the kids - and a life without brad... comparin' em - he wants them both. but it's... not comparable.
he hates this about himself, too. the dependent part, that needs brad more than anything.
he's quiet for awhile. )
... I ain't commitin' to nothin' yet. Not settin' up shop, puttin' down roots. This place is... weird, and I don't got a run of it yet, but...
( ... )
... Don't you go anywhere. Don't you go dyin' on me... okay?
( Because he really will go with you, if it comes to that again. )
[ for all their quiet and distaste for engaging with others, eastern wizards sure were easy to read; they could never hide their real feelings from showing on their face, and nero was no exception. brad snorts, reaching over to lift his chin a little brusquely. ]
I already told you I ain't. Look me in the eye and see if I'm lyin' to you. I'd never leave you behind.
[ and because he knows those words will make nero think of his own betrayal, he adds immediately. ]
And I don't give a fuck what you did before. You promised you'd belong to me from that moment on, and I expect you to honor that.
( Always, always, Brad disrupts his rhythm and pulls him into his own. He hates that about him, how he won't let Nero muddle, grow stagnant, grow swampish. Let him rot here, let him die alone.
Nero always argues for it, but he's always afraid of his loneliness becoming truth. Brad's steady grip and steady gaze keeps him still - from crumpling like the weak thing he knows he is. )
... Like I'm stupid enough to break a promise.
( He mutters this as an excuse, gaze averting, pushing at Brad's wrist - but not forcefully. He really had thought of his betrayal, and he feels like Brad caught him red-handed. )
So if you're here, I gotta be here too.
( Because it's true - he promised he'd belonged to him; that he'd always be with him. )
( Ugh, don't pat his cheek. He's not a kid :/ Smacks his hand away... also don't say such embarrassing things so easily wtf... )
... I don't hate it here...
( He can't admit he hasn't hated the honeymoon side of things, stress aside... Ugh. He pushes himself up, pouring them both another glass of drinky before starting to gather up their plates for lack of anything better to do to hide his embarrassment. )
... But I know you ain't the loner type.
( (calling out brad for this but not including himself because obviously nero is a loner, he's an easterner, it's what he is!! a loner!!)
okay yeah so maybe nero misses their kids but he knows brad misses their kids too!!! and nero misses having more people to feed and brad misses having a pool of folks to recruit to his gang...
All they need is each other, but they like having this network of folks they can look after that they stand a little bit apart from. And that's why he isn't so sure about staying here forever, unless they really rebuilt everything from scratch...
But it'd be hard to replace the kids he knew back home, too... )
[ fair, that's one of the major things that makes bradley different from nero. brad needs to socialize and make connections - the bigger his circle, the better. if he could establish a wizard-only empire he would, but apparently they're the only wizards here so that's not gonna be possible.
what is possible is plan b, one that nero might be more open to. but starting a family at an unfamiliar place would have to happen after they know how permanent this is, if people ever come back, what's the condition for staying… there's too many unknowns. but one thing brad learned in the gang is to always be ready to face the loss of your loved ones. of course he misses mitile. of course he worries and wants to take him from mithra and figaro's clammy hands as soon as possible. he knows nero's going through the same for riquet, too. but in his mind brad's telling himself to get over it.
his eyes follow nero as he takes the plates. ]
There ain't other wizards here, but there's other stuff. [ dragons, apparently? and whatever lilia is. ] We could still band with 'em.
He sends the gathered plates and food away to the kitchen; the plates to clean themselves up and put themselves away, and the whatever leftovers there may be to settle on the oven, for him to take care of himself later.
His gaze is following the plates, not Brad. He misses the gang, but it brings back unpleasant memories of Brad being reckless. )
( It's Nero assuming gang is the foremost thing on Brad's mind... and having a family of his own, as a unit, with Brad, hasn't even occurred to him yet, despite basically having that in some clumsy way in practice, back at the manor.
What better influence could they get than me? Don't you want our kids to be confident? Strong? For two experienced wizards like us to have their backs if they're ever in trouble?
[ please. he'd be the best dad and nero would be the best mom. there's literally no question in his mind. the only thing he didn't mention is that he'd be okay with stealing kids too but he figures nero can infer as much anyway. fantasizes about it, even. not happy kids in happy families, of course, but, you know. ]
[ talking to nero is like stroking a balloon with your hands which could pop any second but never does, it just remains stressed and deflating forever. but thankfully brad will blow him nice and full again :) ]
I think that's more than enough. You'd be like a mom or somethin'.
( He says, but he... doesn't really mind. It snaps him out of his impending negative spiral, and distracts him in a way that's fairly positive. )
... I'd take care of 'em as one of my own. I mean— it's not like they'd actually be ours, but... ( Letting that "ours" slip, because who else would he parent with? His heart knows his answer. ) I'd put in that level of care. 's what they deserve.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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. . . What if we don't return?
[ not if they can't, but if they simply... don't. ]
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His lips purse, gaze falling to his plate - catching Brad's implication. )
... What, and start a new life here? Without 'em?
( His childrens... )
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[ he's done with his plate, and is now licking his fingers idly. ]
And y'know, as fucked up as it is leavin' the Sage behind, the Southern brat, and the Central little guy, they don't exactly need us to survive. I miss 'em, but you and I both know they're fine. Also— [ .........well. he already said "also", he can't just back down. he can avert his gaze, though. ] I always knew it didn't matter where I was as long as you were with me. And now I know it's true.
[ he thought about this endlessly in prison, then felt guilty for wanting nero with him. ]
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nero guesses it's half his fault, though. he ... was the one who took away the thing that mattered most to brad - his gang. is it his fault, that he made brad like this? (nero is stupid.) and - could nero really say the same? that all he needs is brad? no way. not possible. but if he sees a life without everything he had before - his team, his friends, the kids - and a life without brad... comparin' em - he wants them both. but it's... not comparable.
he hates this about himself, too. the dependent part, that needs brad more than anything.
he's quiet for awhile. )
... I ain't commitin' to nothin' yet. Not settin' up shop, puttin' down roots. This place is... weird, and I don't got a run of it yet, but...
( ... )
... Don't you go anywhere. Don't you go dyin' on me... okay?
( Because he really will go with you, if it comes to that again. )
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I already told you I ain't. Look me in the eye and see if I'm lyin' to you. I'd never leave you behind.
[ and because he knows those words will make nero think of his own betrayal, he adds immediately. ]
And I don't give a fuck what you did before. You promised you'd belong to me from that moment on, and I expect you to honor that.
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Nero always argues for it, but he's always afraid of his loneliness becoming truth. Brad's steady grip and steady gaze keeps him still - from crumpling like the weak thing he knows he is. )
... Like I'm stupid enough to break a promise.
( He mutters this as an excuse, gaze averting, pushing at Brad's wrist - but not forcefully. He really had thought of his betrayal, and he feels like Brad caught him red-handed. )
So if you're here, I gotta be here too.
( Because it's true - he promised he'd belonged to him; that he'd always be with him. )
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Good. And you gotta admit, a world where there's just the two of us ain't half bad, is it?
[ eventually he'd want to steal some babies but, all in due time. ]
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... I don't hate it here...
( He can't admit he hasn't hated the honeymoon side of things, stress aside... Ugh. He pushes himself up, pouring them both another glass of drinky before starting to gather up their plates for lack of anything better to do to hide his embarrassment. )
... But I know you ain't the loner type.
( (calling out brad for this but not including himself because obviously nero is a loner, he's an easterner, it's what he is!! a loner!!)
okay yeah so maybe nero misses their kids but he knows brad misses their kids too!!! and nero misses having more people to feed and brad misses having a pool of folks to recruit to his gang...
All they need is each other, but they like having this network of folks they can look after that they stand a little bit apart from. And that's why he isn't so sure about staying here forever, unless they really rebuilt everything from scratch...
But it'd be hard to replace the kids he knew back home, too... )
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what is possible is plan b, one that nero might be more open to. but starting a family at an unfamiliar place would have to happen after they know how permanent this is, if people ever come back, what's the condition for staying… there's too many unknowns. but one thing brad learned in the gang is to always be ready to face the loss of your loved ones. of course he misses mitile. of course he worries and wants to take him from mithra and figaro's clammy hands as soon as possible. he knows nero's going through the same for riquet, too. but in his mind brad's telling himself to get over it.
his eyes follow nero as he takes the plates. ]
There ain't other wizards here, but there's other stuff. [ dragons, apparently? and whatever lilia is. ] We could still band with 'em.
[ he doesn't specify what sort of band, though. ]
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... What, like a gang?
( what else is there,
He sends the gathered plates and food away to the kitchen; the plates to clean themselves up and put themselves away, and the whatever leftovers there may be to settle on the oven, for him to take care of himself later.
His gaze is following the plates, not Brad. He misses the gang, but it brings back unpleasant memories of Brad being reckless. )
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. . . Why not?
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He sighs, running his fingers through his hair. )
... You should know how I feel about that.
( Thinking about Brad risking himself.......... )
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[ catch his drift, pardner? ]
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—Kids?
( Not put off??? Not put off at all... but surprised (even though he really shouldn't be), because... )
I mean... That's kinda like...
( ... a family........? with brad ??? (??!) )
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[ free real estate, nero!! ]
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... I mean, if they're not bein' attended to by nobody...
( Brad can see his brain whirring... Neurons firing... babystealernero.jpg activating... )
... It's a dangerous place. But that means you gotta be a good influence on 'em too if we find any, you hear me?
( scolding brad but also!!! yes, he is board )
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What better influence could they get than me? Don't you want our kids to be confident? Strong? For two experienced wizards like us to have their backs if they're ever in trouble?
[ please. he'd be the best dad and nero would be the best mom. there's literally no question in his mind. the only thing he didn't mention is that he'd be okay with stealing kids too but he figures nero can infer as much anyway. fantasizes about it, even. not happy kids in happy families, of course, but, you know. ]
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Come on. You know what kinda trouble you get into.
( He picks up his glass, gaze falling into it... Kids, huh... )
... I dunno what I can do for 'em besides look out for 'em and feed 'em, but... I mean, if I can do okay enough by 'em it might be fine, but...
( Confidence gauge depleting... )
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I think that's more than enough. You'd be like a mom or somethin'.
[ meant as a high compliment, of course. ]
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( He says, but he... doesn't really mind. It snaps him out of his impending negative spiral, and distracts him in a way that's fairly positive. )
... I'd take care of 'em as one of my own. I mean— it's not like they'd actually be ours, but... ( Letting that "ours" slip, because who else would he parent with? His heart knows his answer. ) I'd put in that level of care. 's what they deserve.
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. . . “Ours”?
[ no, no, he's not gonna let that go, smirking. please elaborate. ]
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—Look— Shut up—
( HE PLEADS THE FIFTH )
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No, I like it. I never thought about it like that, y'know.
[ eichi telling wataru he's never been in love‐ ]
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... 's not like I'd raise 'em alone. So... 'course it'd be "us" doin' it.
( And therefore technically those kids would be "theirs," )
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In a gang, you mean?
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